It is the time of year where many make New Year’s resolutions. There is nothing wrong with setting a resolution. It gives you a goal to achieve. If we compare this to a road trip across the country, we have a set destination we wish to arrive at. Without a plan to get there or asking for directions one could wander in a whole different destination. You need a road map even if it is on your phone.
When setting resolutions, look at them from these viewpoints. Is it specific so that you know exactly what you want and what it would look like to be there? You also want to look at whether it is reasonable? Is it completely under your control? It is almost impossible to achieve a goal if part of it is not in your control and the uncontrolled part is not headed in the same direction as you are.
This time of year tends to increase feelings of loneliness, depression and stress reactions. With that comes a lot of acting out such as outbursts, short fuse and even withdrawal. These are often talked about throughout the mental health community. I wanted to focus on what to look for around the topic of being held hostage emotionally.
To do that, we first need to define what it means to be an emotional hostage. When individuals use fear, anger or guilt to get what they want they are attempting to take you emotionally hostage. This technique is often used by abusers. It could look as simple as throwing a fit or threatening to go back to drug use if they don’t get their way. Basically, they don’t want to take responsibility for their words or actions and instead attempt to blame others. With addicts new to recovery, it may be an excuse to return to use.